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TOPIC: Moaning

Moaning 3 months 3 weeks ago #3223675

  • pascalou
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Hold on there Poet! :(
So sorry to hear about your plight.:(

It seems that France is following on the UK steps they are thinking about giving some money compensation for the people who care for a family member who ,until now ,just gave up their job for zero financial compensation and no retirement pension plan, now they realise that something should be done for these people and should create a carer allowance, but reading the way it turns out, in the UK, I guess I'd choose to keep my work outside and let them sort out the nurses/doctors to your house.
Unless it was a small child requesting 100% mother's care.
As for the meals, you can do as I do.
Once you've cooked your yummy food.
Separate in 3 or 4 lunch boxes and freeze them all, this way no food waste and food always available when needed.
:xxx: :xxx: :xxx:

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Smile to life and life will smile back at you.
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Moaning 3 months 3 weeks ago #3224005

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I have been reading some of weatherpoets posts and I am totally surprised at what's being said, my experience with social services are the complete opposite.
The person I care for was in hospital over the Christmas period and happened to mention that she hasn't had a shower in years, the hospital O/T (ocupational therapist) contacted the community O/T who arranged for our existing bathroom to be converted to a wetroom and the installation of lift to access it. Alas due to unforseen problems we are still awaiting the lift, but it is in hand to be done. In order for the work to be done she had to got into respite which was arranged by social services without any fuss.
I believe (but I could be wrong) that councils in England operate under a different set of rules to councils in Wales, where care and carer services are concerned, and maybe that is something that Carers U.K. should be seeking to change, if they are not already actively doing so.
The following user(s) said Well Said: elainexx

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To be born Welsh is not to be born with a silver spoon in your mouth, but with a song in your heart.

Moaning 3 months 3 weeks ago #3224386

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Pascalou - freezing the dinners would be a good idea. The problem is the freezer's always full too. I think we'd need a separate freezer to fit them all in.

Welshlion - It maybe a difference between England and Wales, I don't know. From what I have heard though, it's certainly a difference between treating mental and physical patients in England. For instance, it would be a great idea if they would agree to the bathroom being sorted and it seems if the sufferer is physically disabled they will offer that help because my oh suffers mental issues they say there's nothing "physical" preventing them from having a bath so they won't help. My oh also wanted a chairlift because the irrational belief was that it would help them to go out walking because they wouldn't have to use them going up and downstairs all the time but because there's no physical problem (which I agree with) they won't fit one but they will fit a rail.

I can't use the bathroom for hours because my oh is normally asleep on it but they won't offer to help get hold of a downstairs toilet because there's nothing physical preventing my oh from getting off the loo...but you would have thought there was superglue on the loo because it's impossible to move them. I guess that doesn't fit in with their eligibility criteria though. You would have thought they either have to do something to sort the mental issue or if they can't, help me to use my own loo!

Would you believe the suggestions offered to me thus far to sought my problems are to attend a writing group (at least they'd have a loo!), ask my oh for an allotted time I can use our loo (woof!), or phone a neighbour! (I'm Not joking!) Can you imagine when you're desperate to use your loo and it's Impossible to get in there...you can't sit there crossing your legs and it's absolutely impossible to budge the obstruction in time....you can imagine the alternatives! Good thing I'm not a woman!!!...although I have said one day there'll be a carrier bag or bucket left outside the door with more than just water in it!

You have to see the funny side - how we usually function is I have a milk bottle container as "my loo" (so far I've not had to use a bucket or carrier bag....yet!) and after I use it, I leave it outside the loo door which my oh will empty when they wake up. One day my oh had left the loo and I saw my bottle outside the door so I took back downstairs as I though oh had forgotten. Later that day though I could smell something not nice but couldn't place it until I found out oh hadn't emptied my bottle and I'd taken it back with what you can imagine still being in it. During the time it was sitting there, we had visitors coming in and out...right past "my loo". They must have thought it was the dog...hopefully!

I know it sounds madness..but that's how we live...in a mad world of our own...where I'm kept awake all night, surfaces covered in notes, not being able to use my loo, meals left in the fridge, etc etc etc. You know, I often wonder could anyone else ever really live with me because I'm so used to a strange world. It is Such Luxury when you don't have to plan when you think you can use your own loo. It's habit now to make sure I go before I come home. It would also be bliss to go to bed knowing you're not going to be woken up finding all the lights on all over the house. The council now turn the street lights off during the night. The neighbours must think we like acting as a lighthouse! Welcome to our world.

Now, you can imagine how on one side you have irrational behaviour to contend with and on the other side you have the councils criteria to fight with. It feels like the unstoppable meeting the immovable and I'm the victim (or referee!) in the middle.

Sounds like I ought to try moving to Wales. Boy, I LOVE your country!...and the people...especially the welsh women with their Lovely welsh accents. It always sounds a "happy" accent. And of course your singers...wow. Wish I could sing like them.

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Moaning 3 months 3 weeks ago #3225663

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Well, the battleplan is drawn up ready for the war tomorrow with the sheriff of Nottingham's "woman" but I've managed to enlist the help of our own female robin hood to fend off the attacks. As for me, I'll try and stay quiet and let the battle rage. Chicken! Well, whoever's side I take, I'll be attacked so I know it's going to be a no win war for me. For instance, if I say I can't use my own bathroom...one side will say it's not true or they can't help being ill...and the other side will say, tough! So I'm pretty sure I'll have to carry on with my own portable loo which they'll see present in the corner.

As for enabling me to sleep at night? Probably be a better chance sleeping in the car...a few miles away in the countryside so I can't be disturbed.

I know what we need and I know what we'll get. We just have to do battle as usual so we can stay as we are. I don't know how they're trained these days but you would have thought they would be working in the profession because they care and want to help people rather than enjoying inflicting more stress on people in need of support.

I've seen the mental health team myself on numerous occasion either because I had been referred due to too much stress and anxiety or because I needed support in my caring role. Either way I felt worse after contacting them so wherever possible now I really try to avoid asking for any help from them. I know I'm not the only one who has experienced this too. I just find it extremely sad, especially when you keep hearing those same words but nothing ever changes...."we'll learn from our mistakes".

Oh well, let's see if I'm allowed a few hours sleep tonight before the war commences in the morning. You should see how my oh shakes every time after they've finished their interrogations when they visit. They can see it too but they never ease up with the pressure. The only things they forget to bring is the lamp on a tripod and the straps while they fire the questions. That's why I call social services the SS. I just hope in other areas of the country both with mental and physical sufferers they are treated as they should be and we're just unlucky. One last thing though, they appear to have merged bot the patient and carer support within one team but instead of making things better, they now put their spotlights on both of us just so they can fill in their reports they got away with not having to spend any extra on the support that's needed. In other words, it won't matter what is said or what evidence is presented because all they'll say is they're not going to help because there's no money....and my oh will be saying they can't help being ill....and I'll be thinking "whatever!...I'm used to having to cope alone without anyone there for me.

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Moaning 3 months 1 week ago #3230463

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Just a quick update after our urgent call for help.
One week later after the visit promising a tiny bit of help, all we've heard is deafening silence as my oh continues to deteriorate. Guess we're just numbers on their financial accounts.
And I expected more? Nope.:dry:

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