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Many of us are carers now and so this category is for carers to share their thoughts and experiences

TOPIC: Looking for others who are/were caregivers for spouses

Looking for others who are/were caregivers for spouses 2 months 2 weeks ago #3168122

  • jeffreybbb
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Maybe now is a good time to get back to trying to support others who are/were caregivers, in whatever way we can
The following user(s) said Well Said: jennilin, JennieR62

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Looking for others who are/were caregivers for spouses 2 months 1 week ago #3173686

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I was my husband's 24/7 home carer for 15years before the health authorities decided he was no longer able to live in his own home with me plus sadly he was making me very ill, so it was with a heavy heart and much soul searching And crying, I agreed he needed much more specialist nursing care in a nursing home that I alone could not give.
It has been almost a year now that I made that decision, and the guilt is slowly easing but he is very well looked after in the home I have no complaint but it's still sad to see him just laying there with no quality of life and just tired all the time.
He has the two worst two mental health diseases - Parkinson's and dementia.
I found buzz to be a lifesaver for me and still do, it's a way of connecting to other people whether they be in the same situation as you or for other reasons they find themselves housebound and cut off from the outside world.

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We are all stars, and we deserve to twinkle

Looking for others who are/were caregivers for spouses 2 months 1 week ago #3175124

  • welshlion
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jennilin wrote: Your goals are admirable well done and working for free in your desire to help is amazing thank goodness for people like you ... I can see why you would be unsure of the point I am trying to make because I am a mere mortal and like lots of others struggle with the system .. I'm so glad you don't struggle... obviously it's my fault I am inept x


Read the last few posts and was stunned to see someone describe themselves as "inept". Whilst there are plenty of suggestions on how carers can fight the system there is no easy/straightforward solution as no 2 situations are identical. Social services appear to have been supplied with a "one size fits all" set of guidelines and until there's more flexibility in the system we will all continue to struggle.

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To be born Welsh is not to be born with a silver spoon in your mouth, but with a song in your heart.

Looking for others who are/were caregivers for spouses 3 weeks 5 days ago #3203127

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I have just entered a phase where I am a caregiver for my wife. For the last two months, I did everthing around the house but dress and undress and bathe her. She became severly ill three weeks ago and I thought she would make her transition but she didn't. She is now in a nursing home/rehab center. I don't know how much she will improve but she is definitely improving.

One of my frustrations is how to deal with putting my/our dreams of moving out west on hold. They had already been postponed when she started a new chemotherapy regimen several months ago.

One of my key learnings is to write a very specific advanced care directive. I really don't want to live in a bed, if that was to be the expected outcome of any treatment for me, then I would ask to be let go of this body. I don't want to have to live a life where I would deprive someone of their dreams and goals to care for me.

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Blessings,
Harry

Looking for others who are/were caregivers for spouses 3 weeks 5 days ago #3203184

  • JUJO
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hcf3sf
You need to speak to a solicitor/Lawyer stating your requirement.

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Looking for others who are/were caregivers for spouses 3 weeks 5 days ago #3203471

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Thank you.

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Blessings,
Harry
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