I've been living alone for almost 30 years. I became disabled 10 years ago and 3 years ago, I ended up in a wheelchair. My friends dropped off one by one and now my family (what's left) has become more and more distant. Why don't they remember that I am totally alone and reach out?. Before I became disabled I was assured that "they" would always have a place for me; that I would never end up in a nursing home (my worst fear). I have a neighbor who picks up my groceries, takes out my trash and takes me to appointments but he also works full time and I don't want to "wear out my welcome with him". Where did everybody go?

In this life, whatever your age and state of health , you and only you are your support system!

Have you applied to the Social Services in your area that can help provide assistance?

Sorry to hear that. Sadly you are not alone in your predicament. Many people here in the UK suffer similarly. Your neighbour sounds incredibly kind but I understand that you don't want to over burden him.
Do you have access to an organisation similar to what we in the UK call Social Services that might offer support. If so try contacting them.
I hope things improve for you.

My disability pay puts me above the income allowance for social services but thanks!

Hi da Bee
Yes it is a dilemma many of us will eventually have to face.
Here in the U.K. care in the community is under stress or non-existent.
Can you not have your groceries delivered?
Perhaps pay for someone to do 2 hours a week housework & put out the rubbish ?

da Bee 7 wrote: My disability pay puts me above the income allowance for social services but thanks!

Is there any sort of advisory service you can call on to see what you maybe entitled to, to ensure that you are getting all the allowances that you are entitled to, such as care etc. as this is allowance is awarded so that you can pay for help that you need.

I am sorry you are feeling so alone da Bee ... sadly it is not uncommon especially for those who are older which is why Buzz is so great.

Families grow up and start lives of their own and work and running their own homes takes up more time.

Do your family know how you are feeling?

It's quite easy to feel that you have to be OK and not say that you are feeling lonely or abandoned ... and whilst you're doing that family can think you don't need help or company ... especially if you have always been independent in the past.

My lovely son will drop everything to come and change a lightbulb for me but rarely pops in 'just because' ... he works very hard and I know his free time is precious ... I understand that and can remember feeling the same when I was younger and everyone wanted or needed a piece of me.

I wonder if it would be a good idea to try AgeUK?

They can offer amazing support from befriending to shopping and cleaning or gardening and help getting out to social events ... not just hospital appointments etc ... they have wonderful volunteers who are all police checked and looking to help people who are feeling isolated in their older years at a very reasonable price ... they can help with things like benefits too.

This is a link to their website and they have local offices all over the UK ... might be worth checking out? They are a highly recommended support system.

Age UK

Sometimes when we have better control over our lives we can find it easier to engage with friends and family and all kinds of people from a happier place and that can have a ripple effect on how people see us and want to engage with us I think?

Anyway good luck and hope it helps you find some respite from isolatiopn AND maybe some new adventures that you could come and post about on Buzz AND share with your family!!

Hi Rips.

Unfortunately there are no grocery stores that deliver to my area. I can take care of 90% of my housework and if I could find an individual to come to my home I would do it in a flash. Sadly there are only services and they're out of my price range.

I know it probably sounds like I'm playing "yes, but" - I've looked under every rock. Thank you for your suggestions! I appreciate your time and concern.

Keep talking to us on Buzz. We understand your concerns.