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Started in 2014 to help Banish Loneliness and still going strong in 2020
This category is to talk about loneliness for any reason such as caring,or during covid-19 etc and to touch base with others so that you know you are not alone.

TOPIC: More of a mental health question.

More of a mental health question. 4 months 5 days ago #3783109

  • JackNeedsAJill101
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HI Traveler - this is my first reply in a post here and this is a worthy topic, I hope I can make a useful suggestion. I'm only 65 but have been living alone for the better part of 3 years. I have a grown son nearby now since last summer (I moved back to him), but didn't for a good stretch and esp during the pandemic had no one near by who would have bothered to check on me except the landlord maybe when the rent didn't come through.

But since you can still do online stuff including, I assume, emails, one thing you could do on your own is set up a daily email sent on a timer, to local authorities, etc. I believe Microsoft Outlook has this capability, and possible other email platforms. You just set up the time the email is to be sent, and if you're still capable every day, just "head it off at the pass" (i.e. cancel it before it goes out). If you are unable, then the recipients will be notified.

This is one of those soulless tech solutions of course, the ideal thing would be a world where there are people around in a village who know you for years and would miss you if you didn't show up on your doorstep. But we're in the modern disconnected world. I don't know how philosophically deep I should go with this answer, it seems almost unavoidable to me to talk about end-of-life stuff without blabbing my whole attitude on it. Having lived through 35 years of hep C, multiple drug overdoses and a devil-may-care attitude about living this whole modern life since I was a teenager, me and Death have been on buddy-buddy terms for a long time. If I was completely alone and your age and near-deaf and no prospects of future activities or happiness, well...I wouldn't stay home. I'd sell everything, and use the money to get to the prettiest place I'd always wanted to go.

Short of that, I always tell everyone who's mentions this predicament to just get good at something that will bring joy to other people. Period. Grandma Moses didn't start painting (and became a star at it until she was like 80 years old or something. Everyone loves art, and artists attract people. Something you've always wanted to do but never got around to. Get a cheap piano and study and practice. Then drag it out onto your front porch and play for people. And so on. If you're bothering to still eat and stay alive, you must have enough life force there to bother to keep charging up. Start painting a big mural on your house, little by little. The neighbors and regular passersby will start watching your progress and if there suddenly isn't any.... We built stone wall out in front of our little house in L.A. years back and it was so unique and cool to look at that people used to lock up their brakes just to look at it. The power of art and beauty. There are hundreds of stories of little lonely people firing up something in themselves and dazzling people, who start caring about them. Find some little niche of beauty that you can make, and start making it. My expanded prescription, and excuse me if it was all to presumptuous. I'm hell on wheels with a typewriter. Good luck.

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Last edit: by Pascalou. Reason: unwanted part removed

More of a mental health question. 4 months 5 days ago #3783118

  • Trippy Hippie
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Traveler, loneliness is something that many deal with as we all age. I work as a Mental Health Counselor and loneliness is something that can most definitely affect your mental health, but I want to tell you there are ways to remedy your loneliness.

You have stated that all your family and friends are gone, but that does not mean that you still have to loss all interest in everything you enjoy. There are many others still out there and many others that just might be in the same boat as you that have the same interests as you that are looking for that person just as you are searching as well. So you do not have to be in a lonely world.

Whatever interests you have there are many others who share those interests. If you have difficulty with transportation there are remedies now for that with Lyft and Uber services. There are also many Senior Transportation services available free of charge as well. All you have to do is look into it.

So the opportunities of meeting people with the same interests as you are limitless. You don't have to be lonely.

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More of a mental health question. 3 months 3 weeks ago #3789386

  • Classic_48
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Though they can most certainly overlap, loneliness need not be confused with aloneness.
The following user(s) said Well Said: Aida, Gem5, Hoshi

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Truth is not a popularity contest.

More of a mental health question. 3 months 5 days ago #3796743

  • Hoshi
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[quote="Classic_48" post=3789386]Though they can most certainly overlap, loneliness need not be confused with aloneness.[/quote]

Loneliness is really a monster with many heads... You can feel lonely, even with a lot of people around you. You can be a child or an adult, and you can be single, married, or widowed... you also can have sons or not. Life is complex, and "to be or not accompanied" is a perception, a "feeling" . Feelings are rebellious birds, which exist for themselves and everyone feels in an own way. We experience more than we control them...
The following user(s) said Well Said: Aida, Gem5, Butterfly123

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Last edit: by Hoshi.

More of a mental health question. 3 months 4 days ago #3797356

  • Elias Mooseblaster
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Ah, you're never alone with daughters though. ;) Pity they didn't get a mention.

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More of a mental health question. 3 weeks 5 days ago #3825856

  • Butterfly123
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But with so many online sites like buzz you can interact with others, life now with social media has got to be so much more bearable for people who are isolated or feel lonely.
I think it's more than just a state of mind, everyone needs someone to talk to or to be listened to.
The following user(s) said Well Said: Faustine

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More of a mental health question. 3 weeks 5 days ago #3825863

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UK only


Friendship services

At Age UK, one of the ways we try to combat loneliness in later life is through our friendship services. We offer 2 different types:

Telephone friendship

Age UK and our partner charity The Silver Line offer free telephone friendship services so you can enjoy chatting with someone over the phone, all from the comfort of your own home.

Whether you’d like to speak to someone every week, or just want to talk when the need strikes, we’re here to help.

Find out more

Face-to-face befriending

Befriending services are available at many local Age UKs. They will often involve a volunteer befriender visiting an older person in their home, perhaps for a cup of tea and a chat, or accompanying them to an activity (such as a trip to a cafe or the theatre). In some cases, a volunteer may accompany the older person to occasional hospital or doctor's appointments.

Need some advice?

The Age UK Advice Line is a free, confidential, national phone service for older people, their families, friends, carers and professionals, which is open 365 days a year (8am-7pm). If you're feeling lonely or need some practical help and support, please call us on 0800 678 1602.
The following user(s) said Well Said: Gem5, Pats

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