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Started just before Christmas 2014 as part of Buzz50's Banish Loneliness Campaign for Seniors over 50. Still going strong in 2017!
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TOPIC: Why do we feel alone?

Why do we feel alone? 1 week 5 days ago #3267730

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No, but I'd be willing to be given intense therapy! wink.png

Seriously, I think I know why I'm like I am. I take after my father. My mother described him as a little boy lost. He hated coming home to an empty home, he loved having my mother around, he worried a lot about her when he went out, he always felt guilty even though my mother was fine, he was intense, passionate, very sensitive, insecure, very caring - he'd do anything for anyone, a perfectionist, got frustrated, depressed, always felt he should do more or better but he was the perfect man and father. If I could be half the man he was, I'd be happy.

I've always just hated my own company. I need to feel needed and be giving pleasure, making people happy otherwise I don't feel worth anything.
The following user(s) said Well Said: Rose57

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Why do we feel alone? 1 week 4 days ago #3267862

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weatherpoet wrote: No, but I'd be willing to be given intense therapy! wink.png

Seriously, I think I know why I'm like I am. I take after my father. My mother described him as a little boy lost. He hated coming home to an empty home, he loved having my mother around, he worried a lot about her when he went out, he always felt guilty even though my mother was fine, he was intense, passionate, very sensitive, insecure, very caring - he'd do anything for anyone, a perfectionist, got frustrated, depressed, always felt he should do more or better but he was the perfect man and father. If I could be half the man he was, I'd be happy.

I've always just hated my own company. I need to feel needed and be giving pleasure, making people happy otherwise I don't feel worth anything.







Please make an appointment with your doctor,ask to be referred for intense counselling therapy
The following user(s) said Well Said: Rose57, Jeanp

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Why do we feel alone? 1 week 4 days ago #3268383

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How i very much agree with what you have said and i also feel for you. Jeanp

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Why do we feel alone? 1 week 4 days ago #3268407

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I have seen counsellors before and they ask lots of questions to help you find ways to help yourself but the conclusions I came to were always the same...they can't give me what I really need.

I know this will sound odd but I've actually been told I would make a good counsellor because I love to listen and try to help others with their issues but my problem would be I'd become too emotionally involved. I couldn't stay detached. That's what I call my vulnerability.
The following user(s) said Well Said: maylily7651

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Why do we feel alone? 5 days 16 hours ago #3271857

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weatherpoet wrote: I have seen counsellors before and they ask lots of questions to help you find ways to help yourself but the conclusions I came to were always the same...they can't give me what I really need.

I know this will sound odd but I've actually been told I would make a good counsellor because I love to listen and try to help others with their issues but my problem would be I'd become too emotionally involved. I couldn't stay detached. That's what I call my vulnerability.











Have you ever thought about writing down things, things in your life what makes you happy and unhappy,and how you can make things different
The following user(s) said Well Said: Rose57

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Why do we feel alone? 5 days 12 hours ago #3271979

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JUJO wrote:

weatherpoet wrote: I have seen counsellors before and they ask lots of questions to help you find ways to help yourself but the conclusions I came to were always the same...they can't give me what I really need.

I know this will sound odd but I've actually been told I would make a good counsellor because I love to listen and try to help others with their issues but my problem would be I'd become too emotionally involved. I couldn't stay detached. That's what I call my vulnerability.











Have you ever thought about writing down things, things in your life what makes you happy and unhappy,and how you can make things different


EXCELLENT suggestion, journaling leads to self reflection and possibly writing a book that could help others.
You just may have the right skills to do so “weatherpoet” That might even be
an attractive title to catch ones attention

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Why do we feel alone? 5 days 5 hours ago #3272229

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The things that have made me truly happy have passed so to remember them makes me feel sad.
The sad memories I try not to think about or dwell too much on.
However, I'm always willing to share my experiences if in doing so it helps others by showing they're not alone.

It's true I could write a book and I have written a highlighted version which I've shared in the past.
One of my main concerns which I do worry about is the potential sensitive personal nature of my life story as a carer being shared on the public Net because the subject matter doesn't just involve me so I find I'm always trying to strike that balance between wanting to reach out to help others but not revealing too much publicly to protect confidentiality. It's tricky. This is why I prefer to share more privately when I'm contacted.

I know it comes across that I hate feeling alone but equally I love to help others with their loneliness which then helps me feel better in myself. I'm not sure why though but a lot of people keep their distance when I don't bite. I guess we all have our protective barriers especially when we feel vulnerable and uncertain as to who we feel we can trust. I care very much about others but trust takes time. I have plenty of that and patience. I also love to listen and help because it makes me feel I'm doing something worthwhile and makes me feel less alone too.

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Why do we feel alone? 5 days 1 hour ago #3272340

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Weatherpoet,
If you write down your feelings,no matter whether you are feeling happy,sad,depressed,angry, your emotions are important,and if you don’t pour them out,it could really make you feel depressed,
Once written down,sit and try to work out how you could do things differently
The following user(s) said Well Said: Rose57

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Why do we feel alone? 4 days 23 hours ago #3272393

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I agree with my good friend JuJo. When I found myself on my own 15 yrs ago, no family or friends, I was encouraged to join a creative writing club. I was quite good at writing essays & short stories at school, so gave it a go. While the club environment didn't suit me, I carried on writing stuff at home & it freed my mind to just let go & be imaginative. It did help to block out a lot of the negative thoughts. I accepted an invite to lunch out of the blue, from a friend & at that lunch I met the lady that became my partner for the next 2yrs.
Although it didn't work out , we are still friends & talk on the phone. It's getting free of the negativity that will help you see things different. I know there is no "one fix for everyone"
but it's worth trying something.
The following user(s) said Well Said: JUJO, Rose57

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Why do we feel alone? 4 days 4 hours ago #3272872

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Ah, now I know why my gp suggested attending a creative writing group. Trouble was it started early in the morning and I'm never allowed sleep until then. Mind you, I'd rather skip the group and just go to the lunch where you met your partner as that sort of meeting would definitely free my negativity.

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