We weren't married, but we were together for eight years.. Most of that was so much fun.
I miss his smile, voice, the way we would compete with each other doing quizzes, finding fossils, trying to jive New Years Eve (when he's 6ft 2 and I'm 5ft 2, then dissolving into laughter.. So much.
I knew he was going to die, he'd had a massive heart attack just after Christmas, then another, then another.. The pacemaker was a waste of time ( I guessed it would be) but 'jollied' him along as he fooled himself into thinking it would 'somehow' save or protect him!
He died alone when I wasn't there.
That's the bit that hurts.
It's just three months since he left.
Eventually, the crying has to stop (peoples sympathy runs out)
The house looks like a rummage sale, so time to clean.
All the tins have been munched, so it's time to cook again.
The birds need to be fed, the dog walked, so much to do.
I had no heart in it.... Yet in doing it, it helped without me realising.
Life after death... His death, now my life is there for me to get on with, because we don't get a trial run!
I will live it... Just for him.
Good luck Noelle. Sorry won't help, so I'll send you a smile....
Gerrylady