Rose57 wrote: For all those here that have lost a spouse or partner, I send heart felt condolences.
I lost my husband of 35 yrs, 9 yrs ago. He had pulmonary fibrosis from agent orange sprayed during his service in Vietnam. His illness started out slow, a 7 yr ordeal but the last year was the hardest, I took care of him the last few months he needed 24/7 care. I’ve always been pretty self sufficient, but he always took care of all the home & mechanical repairs. At first it was a challenge but I’ve since learned, to do many of the home repairs he once did, all except mechanical repairs. Life is so different now,

Sorry for your loss Rose57.

Thanks Rosie,

I can’t pretend to know EXACTLY how you feel, because we’re different people with different experiences in spite of our similarities, BUT I just wanted to thank you for your post. I lost my husband just under a year and a half ago. I knew he’d probably be first to go, but I had no idea how hard it would be. I’m learning to be self-reliant in ways I never had to be. The loneliness is hardest. God bless you.

Coraline wrote: I can’t pretend to know EXACTLY how you feel, because we’re different people with different experiences in spite of our similarities, BUT I just wanted to thank you for your post. I lost my husband just under a year and a half ago. I knew he’d probably be first to go, but I had no idea how hard it would be. I’m learning to be self-reliant in ways I never had to be. The loneliness is hardest. God bless you.

Thank you Caroline
I’m deepest condolences for your loss, True we all experience loss in our own way, But one thing it seems we all experience is the first year is the hardest. I commend your courage & strength it takes to take on new challenges to be self reliant.

A person may know their partner,husband,wife is ill, sadly they die, but in all honesty, I don’t think anything can prepare anyone for widowhood, no one knows how they will react,cope,feel,until it actually happens.

JUJO wrote: A person may know their partner,husband,wife is ill, sadly they die, but in all honesty, I don’t think anything can prepare anyone for widowhood, no one knows how they will react,cope,feel,until it actually happens.

As someone who has been widowed and knew my wife was going to die, I have to agree with the above statement.

When my husband of 35 yrs passed 9 yrs ago, even with the difficulties we had it was like loosing arms or legs. I couldn’t function, couldn’t even live in the house the first year. I went searching for a replacement, but it seemed I was always unhappy. I thought my happiness was dependent on others. After 8 yrs I finally decided it was time to take responsibility for my own happiness. It was awkward at first but Also rewarding, with the help of Buzz50 social interaction, the loneliness issue has been reduced significantly.
I’ve always felt awkward in social situations, most my life never felt like I fit in. So when I accidentally stumbled onto Buzz50, I almost passed it by. Ive been here less then a week but it feels much longer, it’s a new good feeling to fit in feel accepted.... Thanks Everyone

Loneliness and depression go in hands together- We could still be lonely with or without our partners. One of things I came understand about loneliness we never spend time in ourselves and reflect on things that as taken us this far in life. After losing my son after 23 years my heart still grieve for him. You could fill your loneliness with everythings but it still doesn't take away the loneliness. For me now I fill my life trying to understand who I'm and the sort of person I become. Happiness fill my loneliness by reflecting on the past and present. So if you want to fill your loneliness try to learn about yourself and understand your abilities past and present.

batman wrote: Loneliness and depression go in hands together- We could still be lonely with or without our partners. One of things I came understand about loneliness we never spend time in ourselves and reflect on things that as taken us this far in life. After losing my son after 23 years my heart still grieve for him. You could fill your loneliness with everythings but it still doesn't take away the loneliness. For me now I fill my life trying to understand who I'm and the sort of person I become. Happiness fill my loneliness by reflecting on the past and present. So if you want to fill your loneliness try to learn about yourself and understand your abilities past and present.

Very wise words... I’m learning to do the same.

We weren't married, but we were together for eight years.. Most of that was so much fun.
I miss his smile, voice, the way we would compete with each other doing quizzes, finding fossils, trying to jive New Years Eve (when he's 6ft 2 and I'm 5ft 2, then dissolving into laughter.. So much.
I knew he was going to die, he'd had a massive heart attack just after Christmas, then another, then another.. The pacemaker was a waste of time ( I guessed it would be) but 'jollied' him along as he fooled himself into thinking it would 'somehow' save or protect him!
He died alone when I wasn't there.
That's the bit that hurts.
It's just three months since he left.
Eventually, the crying has to stop (peoples sympathy runs out)
The house looks like a rummage sale, so time to clean.
All the tins have been munched, so it's time to cook again.
The birds need to be fed, the dog walked, so much to do.
I had no heart in it.... Yet in doing it, it helped without me realising.
Life after death... His death, now my life is there for me to get on with, because we don't get a trial run!
I will live it... Just for him.
Good luck Noelle. Sorry won't help, so I'll send you a smile....
Gerrylady