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TOPIC: Widowhood and loneliness

Widowhood and loneliness 10 months 3 weeks ago #3153192

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Some amazingly brave people have responded to this post and the most positive message that comes through from all the posts is … don't give up - life goes on.

It does ….. everyone takes a different length of time - we all go through the stages of grief …. including shock, denial, angry, pain, guilt, upset, blame, reflection, loneliness, depression, acceptance and hope … and each of us take a different time to work through all or some of these feelings... for me it took 4 years although all the TEXT books said 2 years … yeh right!!! … now 12 years down the line I love life again …

Keep working on it … it does get better BUT try to be positive if you can - it helps!!

Ohhhhhh … and another hint - I was given this by a widow of many years …. DONT REFUSE AN INVITE - go to everything you are invited too even if you only stay for a short while. It really works as you gradually build up your 'time at an event' and feel less of a spare part :ohmy:
The following user(s) said Well Said: maria2, Sue 8pal, CatCrazy820, Sage59

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Widowhood and loneliness 10 months 1 week ago #3161279

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No one knows how anyone will react,until god forbid a person becomes a widow/widower,
Depending on how old the person is when they are widowed,if they have dependent children, or are they living alone.
If they live alone,and are maybe retired, maybe joining clubs, pensioners club,craft club,anything to combat loneliness,

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Last edit: by JUJO.

Widowhood and loneliness 10 months 1 week ago #3161296

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spiritofspain wrote: Ohhhhhh … and another hint - I was given this by a widow of many years …. DONT REFUSE AN INVITE - go to everything you are invited too even if you only stay for a short while. It really works as you gradually build up your 'time at an event' and feel less of a spare part :ohmy:


I lost my husband last July, was his full time carer for 5 years watching him get worse until he passed. I agree with spirtofspain, do not refuse invitations, keep in touch with your friends. I became a recluse after my husband passed and refused all invitations and never invited friends to my house. I now realize this was a big mistake. Staying in touch with friends would have shortened my grieving period and assisted in getting on with my life. Because of this mistake, I am still grieving and lonely after 6 months.

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Widowhood and loneliness 9 months 1 week ago #3186867

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:xxx: :xxx: for Madison - dont be lonely

First port of call are all the lovely people on Buzz50 ... seek them out and they will repay!!
BUT - dont be hard on yourself - 6 months is still a very short time - let yourself grieve - dont fight it ... and as time goes by the feelings will get a little less harsh.:xxx:
The following user(s) said Well Said: JennieR62

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Last edit: by spiritofspain.

Widowhood and loneliness 8 months 3 weeks ago #3195478

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I really don't know if this is the place to have a bit of a moan but, here goes.
Although I am incredibly busy and have various things that fill my day today I'm missing someone I cared for deeply, so much that it's tangible.
I feel like a fake because it's not my husband who passed away 3 years ago, but a lovely man I met shortly after my husband's death. I didn't really mourn for my hubby because we had a really bad marriage for over 10 years and I was his carer for the last 4.
But a met this nice man and we began a LDR meeting a few times in person and he made me feel alive again. Unfortunately, he died suddenly a few months ago and today I'm missing him so much.
I'm sorry about the moan, I just needed to put pen to paper, I'll feel better tomorrow no doubt.
The following user(s) said Well Said: Maryjoolz, maria2, QuinTSensual, Gerrylady

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Last edit: by Sue 8pal.

Widowhood and loneliness 8 months 3 weeks ago #3195518

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Sue that's not complaining, we all know what you are going through. Believe me it does get better but in saying that it took me over 6 years to realise it.
The following user(s) said Well Said: maria2, Sue 8pal, Gerrylady

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Widowhood and loneliness 8 months 3 weeks ago #3197235

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Sue 8pal wrote: I really don't know if this is the place to have a bit of a moan but, here goes.
Although I am incredibly busy and have various things that fill my day today I'm missing someone I cared for deeply, so much that it's tangible.
I feel like a fake because it's not my husband who passed away 3 years ago, but a lovely man I met shortly after my husband's death. I didn't really mourn for my hubby because we had a really bad marriage for over 10 years and I was his carer for the last 4.
But a met this nice man and we began a LDR meeting a few times in person and he made me feel alive again. Unfortunately, he died suddenly a few months ago and today I'm missing him so much.
I'm sorry about the moan, I just needed to put pen to paper, I'll feel better tomorrow no doubt.


Sue .. that's not a moan but an honest expression of grief - we all have people we care for - in many ways - and when they go from our lives we mourn the loss. In your case they were lost through death but that is not necessarily the case. Take time to grieve and acknowledge your loss.
Take care Mx
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Widowhood and loneliness 7 months 2 weeks ago #3218282

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You must not close your door.
Keep it ajar, is my message.

If someone wants to enter he or she would with a knock or without!

Loss of a great companion is tragic for both men and women.
People who are into an art like me suffer the pangs of loneliness more hard.

The muse or the prompt, the laughter the charm, evaporates suddenly as if into thin air.

Do you agree?

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Widowhood and loneliness 7 months 1 week ago #3223978

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Sue 8pal wrote: I really don't know if this is the place to have a bit of a moan but, here goes.
Although I am incredibly busy and have various things that fill my day today I'm missing someone I cared for deeply, so much that it's tangible.
I feel like a fake because it's not my husband who passed away 3 years ago, but a lovely man I met shortly after my husband's death. I didn't really mourn for my hubby because we had a really bad marriage for over 10 years and I was his carer for the last 4.
But a met this nice man and we began a LDR meeting a few times in person and he made me feel alive again. Unfortunately, he died suddenly a few months ago and today I'm missing him so much.
I'm sorry about the moan, I just needed to put pen to paper, I'll feel better tomorrow no doubt.






How are you Sue?

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Widowhood and loneliness 6 months 1 week ago #3241377

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For all those here that have lost a spouse or partner, I send heart felt condolences.
I lost my husband of 35 yrs, 9 yrs ago. He had pulmonary fibrosis from agent orange sprayed during his service in Vietnam. His illness started out slow, a 7 yr ordeal but the last year was the hardest, I took care of him the last few months he needed 24/7 care. I’ve always been pretty self sufficient, but he always took care of all the home & mechanical repairs. At first it was a challenge but I’ve since learned, to do many of the home repairs he once did, all except mechanical repairs. Life is so different now,
The following user(s) said Well Said: franny13

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