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Started just before Christmas 2014 as part of Buzz50's Banish Loneliness Campaign for Seniors over 50. Still going strong in 2017!
This category is for talk about loneliness and how to tackle it. Can you can help in our campaign?

TOPIC: Loneliness can seriously affect your health - Buzz50 can help

Loneliness can seriously affect your health - Buzz50 can help 11 months 5 days ago #3129019

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>> @ Weatherpoet.
Having read your heartfelt posts and empathising.
Yes, the likes of Buzz 50 can help, by merely posting your circumstances, thoughts and aspirations, best shared, whilst retaining physical anonymity
BUT >> The most important, enduring and satisfying resolve. Is to recognise, what ever disability or degree of alone.
That we all have mental gifts, often untapped in a busy prelife, to be self exposed, developed and pursued without apprehension.
Ask yourself, as often those in their ultimate twilight years.
Wish I had done that. Why didn't I do that. >>
And embark on all or any, that are within your NOW known capacity.
The following user(s) said Well Said: Aida, Serena77, Clockwork Satsuma

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"Out of the eyes and words of children, we 'may' best be known."

Loneliness can seriously affect your health - Buzz50 can help 11 months 5 days ago #3129282

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Yes, I agree and I feel I am attempting all I can within my capacity. It's just I feel like that although I have my freedom even though I'm not actually free, I'll always have a ball and chain on me holding me down sapping my energy that will also prevent me from feeling human.

I wondered if anyone saw the film on BBC tonight called Care? In lots of ways I could relate with.
I also saw an article about how humans could explore other worlds by using robots with human traits. It made me think in the future how robots will probably take over caring roles because they have no need for sleep, have no emotions to contend with and don't even need a hug. Imagine a. I think I saw a film about a personal assistant that was a robot that a son brought home for his father. I wouldn't be surprised.

One of my favourite scenes though is from A.I. about a robot boy that just wants to be loved by his human mother that he's been programmed to connect with. On the one hand I think it would be wonderful to bring someone back for a day but on the other hand I think it would be too heartbreaking to lose them for a second time. A.I - the need to be loved

What I need is a blue fairy...but do they exist? I'm not so sure anymore. Blue Fairy

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Last edit: by weatherpoet.

Loneliness can seriously affect your health - Buzz50 can help 11 months 4 days ago #3129492

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With respect, being unaware of your circumstances or the 'Film' you refer to.
The notion that the advent of robotics are the all singing, all dancing solution to human problems, is at its least, to relinquish and abandon the very reason we are created.
A more positive approach being recognition and emulation of those more impaired than ourselves, who do achieve more than they could have ever imagined. >> "INVICTUS" >> is not just physical, its mentality that jump starts that we have allowed to become inert.
Think Positive >> Be Positive >> Surprise Your Self.
The following user(s) said Well Said: Serena77, Meeooow

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"Out of the eyes and words of children, we 'may' best be known."

Loneliness can seriously affect your health - Buzz50 can help 11 months 4 days ago #3130174

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I quite agree with you. I can't help thinking that the way things are going, a very long time in the future, I wouldn't be surprised if robots were created to perform some form of caring role but I'd hate it because nothing could ever replace the warmth and caring of a human being. I think though if it ever did happen it's years off yet. I was watching this evening how robots are now helping farmers with planting seeds and maintaining fields for them. Very simple compared with what the future might hold. Who knows. It just makes me wonder what the world might become. A hundred years ago they would never have imagined the technology that's been introduced since. Often I think though how simple life was then where you would pop down to the shops (that are all closing now) in your horse and carriage (instead of your petrol fumed car), pay with actual money (and no cards), and talk to people in person (rather than type on a pc). Of course there are good things but I think we often create things because of the benefits without thinking of the harms they cause such as plastic. I just think about such things. what the world once was, what it is now and what it might become.

I do try to live in hope. When you're sleep deprived though and get no help from the professionals, it's easy to be dragged down when you have to cope alone. I try not to let it and I do attempt lots of new things. I just get tired of always giving.

In that drama called Care on the BBC it showed how the mother suddenly became ill because of a severe stroke and then developing dementia. The mothers personality and behaviour changed overnight. As always, the daughter received no training or advice as to how to manage her. Her sister wanted her to put the mother in the home but the other daughter insisted on caring for her full time at home despite the emotional and physical abuse she received from her ill mother. In the end she had to give in and her mother was put into a home after a lot of trauma that was also created by the health services due to cuts inflicted on them.

One of the things that I thought about though was the daughter insisting on wanting to care for mother despite the physical abuse and the reason being that she loved her mother, would have felt guilt putting her into a home and felt responsible. She cared too much about her. I could relate with that but the differences being that I had to learn to cope from the outset and that she was single so could find someone to love, care and support her with the abuse in her caring role and of course she still felt love for her mother. If someone is very ill but not ill enough to be placed in a home, the reasons that otherwise would have made her want to care for her mother would have still existed but she found someone so she didn't have to cope alone. I have felt alone in my caring role from virtually day one after living together. After 5 years of trying to cope with a full time job and the pressures I came home to with no one to turn to, well, let's just say I nearly wasn't still here. Although I still feel very alone and there's no way I would go back to being driven over the edge, the loneliness still drags me down at times. I guess if I was a robot, I wouldn't have these human frailties but then over the years I've found out not everyone needs or wants affection; just a carer.

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Loneliness can seriously affect your health - Buzz50 can help 11 months 3 days ago #3130626

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< Concurs with almost all your comments.
As I would suggest, at least those 50+, most certainly those who are old enough to be their parent!
As for ourselves, life and the world evolves, we get what we deserve OR what we don't deserve.
We 'use' all within our capacity and capability. Tuning and utilising the best that suits our circumstances.
Hopefully, revealed as an incentive. >>
As a marine engineer, I pursued a profoundly pragmatic career, with little inclination of exploring the mysteries of the mind.
Following retirement, my partner experienced in ever increasing intensity a series of cerebrovascular accidents. Colours, Coinage value, Names of family and significantly more. All lost, with the prognosis of no return.
Apart from being her carer and to some extent as an extracurricular respite. I undertook, quite out of character or experience, a two-year part-time Medical School course qualifying in clinical NLP.
In Precis.
>> Despite all those original pathways having been lost. As with regression and the evolvement of a child, alternative pathways were established. Her being again able to utilise, albeit the basics, of a comprehensible engaging life for a further five years.
The essence being. "Never give up in the face of adversity" >> "There is Always a way".
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"Out of the eyes and words of children, we 'may' best be known."

Loneliness can seriously affect your health - Buzz50 can help 10 months 2 weeks ago #3141428

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Everyone is different,what affects one person,could well affect another person very differently.Everyone deals with different things in different ways.
Loneliness can and is very difficult to cope with, Depending on which country a person lives in, could depend on help available,
If a person is in U.K.
Contact Age UK ,British Red Cross,
For help and advice.

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Last edit: by JUJO.

Loneliness can seriously affect your health - Buzz50 can help 10 months 2 weeks ago #3142245

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I have husband and family ( don't see much of them) but I am quite lonely. I used to live in the heart of a busy community but moved to a much quieter place. Things change, my husband got sick and doesn't like going out. I no longer drive. Suddenly I'm on my own, metaphorically speaking.

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A nation's greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest members.

Loneliness can seriously affect your health - Buzz50 can help 10 months 2 weeks ago #3143157

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We walk past silent houses, not knowing who lives there or what their world is like behind their closed doors.

On Christmas morning, I sat in my chair cradling the dog in my arms (as she's very small) and I gently tickled her tummy which she loves as she stared back up at me. My other half slept for hours while I was left to cook the Christmas dinner with any wrapped present in sight for me to open because nothing had been prepared.

I took the dog out and I looked at all these silent houses with no one around but as I came home, a neighbour saw me walk by and they rushed to their front door to call out to me...."Merry Christmas".

One small gesture made me feel I wasn't totally invisible and someone did care about me on Christmas Day.

Later I saw the neighbour and I told them what my Christmas Day had actually been like and thanked them for cheering me up for the rest of the day.

Christmas Day though is just the same as the rest of the days of the year. All that's different is the appearance and the extra workload but under all the glitz, the day is just the same as any other.

Years ago I dreamt a dream which for some reason has always stayed with me but I don't know why. The dream was simply of laying on the grass on the side of a hill watching the clouds slowly drift by against the deep blue sky. Laying beside me was a woman (I know not who) and we were just holding hands together in silence but with a sense of wholeness and contentment. That dream has never come true though and I honestly believe the New Year will bring nothing different than a turn of the page on a calendar and life will continue just as it is.

I don't celebrate New Years. I celebrate getting through the previous one because it means I've survived the hassle and stress of day to day reality which also means there is always hope of making dreams come true however forlorn.

There is a song which reminds me of that dream...Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. Chasing Cars

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Loneliness can seriously affect your health - Buzz50 can help 4 months 1 day ago #3272988

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There was a piece on the news last night,loneliness and isolation can affect your mental health.
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No home is complete without the pitter patter of kitty feet.

Loneliness can seriously affect your health - Buzz50 can help 4 months 1 day ago #3273016

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JUJO wrote: There was a piece on the news last night,loneliness and isolation can affect your mental health.


I don't doubt it Jo. I have always been comfortable in my own company [well, someone has to be :( :lol: ] but after some time, it does get to you.
The following user(s) said Well Said: JennieR62, Robin, Rose57, nam72

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