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TOPIC: Student with stoma accused of drug taking in pub disabled toilet.

Student with stoma accused of drug taking in pub disabled toilet. 2 weeks 2 hours ago #3308903

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A student who was accused of taking drugs while using a disabled toilet at a Wetherspoons pub is calling for better awareness of invisible disabilities.

Amber Davies, 21, from Builth Wells, has a stoma after being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis aged 13.

While on a night out in Birmingham, she was "grabbed" by a bouncer after coming out of the disabled toilet.

Wetherspoons said staff apologised for the "confusing situation".

Amber posted an open letter on her Instagram account detailing her experience, saying the door staff "very happily and very openly accused me of snorting, dealing and having sex in the disabled toilet for 'there is no other reason I would need to visit it so often'".

"I got grabbed by a female bouncer and my boyfriend by a male bouncer, we were accused of using them [the disabled toilet] for the wrong reasons," Amber told the BBC.

"She [the bouncer] was quite reluctant to listen to my side of the story, I said it bluntly and I didn't raise my voice once."

Despite gaining access to the locked disabled toilet using a radar key, staff "kept shouting" and her boyfriend, who had gone in the toilet with her, was taken outside.

"I was upset at the time, we hadn't done anything wrong, I spoke well considering. I was more annoyed that people were allowed to behave that way," she added.

"[It's] just completely unacceptable and they're such a big chain, you'd think they'd have training or be knowledgeable before grabbing us."

Amber, who is about to start her third year at Cardiff University, said she had come to expect "funny looks" but not the kind of treatment she received at the Dragon Inn in Birmingham.

Amber and her friends were enjoying a night out in Birmingham when the incident happened
In her post she said her stoma "needs constant care" and can be emptied up to 15 times a day, "it can make going out, especially on nights out, a pretty daunting prospect".

The 21-year-old described her disability as a "chronic, debilitating, lifelong illness".

She contacted the chain to complain about her treatment and has been offered a gift card in response

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A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin, then waving it in the general direction of Italy.

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Student with stoma accused of drug taking in pub disabled toilet. 2 weeks 1 hour ago #3308920

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Too bad, it is another indication of how we act before we think.

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Blessings,
Harry

Student with stoma accused of drug taking in pub disabled toilet. 1 week 6 days ago #3308986

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I have a young nephew with a stoma, I hope he never encounters such a thing, life can be very difficult for a young person like this. And yet I can see that Weatherspoons were only trying to deter drug users / dealers using their facilities, perhaps there could be some sort of identity bracelet or something to prove easy access?
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Student with stoma accused of drug taking in pub disabled toilet. 1 week 6 days ago #3309097

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This is because 99% of people in authority bouncers etc are not fully trained in all situations usually just in combat and always see the bad side of someone, I know they deal with idiots a lot and that sways them but if they just have a suspicion of wrong doing with no proof they should treat people with dignity and ask them politely to assist them in their enquiries. If they had then I am sure the young girl could have explained things quite simply and that would have been it.
Store detectives/security in super markets are as bad around this area think they can just grab hold of folk for the fun of it and do say regularly to teens for no reason apart from they are teens.
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Student with stoma accused of drug taking in pub disabled toilet. 1 week 6 days ago #3309155

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Yes I accept people could use disabled toilets for wrong purposes and is fine for security to check - but the way they went about it is completely wrong.

So, yes, an apology was in order and Amber is right in calling for better awareness of invisible disabilities - an awareness the security clearly did not have nor did they go right way about finding out.
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Student with stoma accused of drug taking in pub disabled toilet. 1 week 6 days ago #3309174

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Lorna Doone wrote: ...perhaps there could be some sort of identity bracelet or something to prove easy access?


Why is that? It is bad enough to be forced to use a stoma, even for elderly people.
It is not something a person wants to be known to the whole world.

A disabled toilet is for disabled people, and disabled people should have the same rights of provacy while on the toilet.

The ´security´ should have waited outside and ask the lady why she went to the toilet so often, accompagnied by her boyfriend.

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LEAVER DEA AS SLAEF !

Student with stoma accused of drug taking in pub disabled toilet. 1 week 6 days ago #3309199

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Annette wrote:

Lorna Doone wrote: ...perhaps there could be some sort of identity bracelet or something to prove easy access?


Why is that? It is bad enough to be forced to use a stoma, even for elderly people.
It is not something a person wants to be known to the whole world.

A disabled toilet is for disabled people, and disabled people should have the same rights of provacy while on the toilet.

The ´security´ should have waited outside and ask the lady why she went to the toilet so often, accompagnied by her boyfriend.


I understand she had her own RADAR (Royal Association of Disability and Rehabilitation) key to access disabled toilets which should have given the bouncers a steer in the right direction.
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A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin, then waving it in the general direction of Italy.

Never argue with an idiot......they will drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
Last edit: by Ivorbigwedge.

Student with stoma accused of drug taking in pub disabled toilet. 1 week 6 days ago #3309208

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I think Lorna's suggestion is reasonable - an identity bracelet just showing you have right to use disabled toilet - like the stickers that say you have right to use disabled parking spot.

Doenst say any details of your condition - just shows security you have right to be there.

But then if people get a universal key to them that should serve same purpose. - you dont have such a key if you are not entitled to use it.
The following user(s) said Well Said: Lorna Doone

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Student with stoma accused of drug taking in pub disabled toilet. 1 week 6 days ago #3309287

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"Woman with chronic illness speaks out about ordeal so others “don’t have to suffer this kind of difficulty, shame, discrimination and awkwardness.”

A student who has a stoma bag for a debilitating condition says she was accused of “snorting, dealing and having sex in the disabled toilet” by a member of staff in a Wetherspoons pub after she visited it several times.

Amber Davies, 21, has a stoma after being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis at the age of 13.

She has penned an open letter to The Dragon Inn Wetherspoons in Birmingham calling for greater awareness of hidden disabilities after a staff member allegedly made the accusations citing that “there is no other reason I would need to visit it so often.”

Davies said the incident occurred during August. She wrote the open letter on her Instagram account detailing her experience and saying she wanted to stand up to “people like you in educating and raising awareness so that other sufferers don’t have to suffer this kind of difficulty, shame and awkwardness.”

Davies outlined in her letter how she has a stoma bag after numerous surgeries and failed treatments and described ulcerative colitis as a “chronic, debilitating and lifelong illness.”

She told how her stoma bag needs constant care and emptying up to 15 times a day and is an essential part of her everyday living.

Davies claims that despite her having a radar key to access the disabled toilet, the staff member “openly accused me of snorting, dealing and having sex” as they thought it was suspicious that she had gone to the toilet so many times.

Davies wrote: “I love my stoma and my stoma bag for the new lease of life they have given me, however, something I do not love, the stigmas and taboos within society and people’s assumptions/lack of understanding, empathy and education that come along with living with this thing.”

She added: “Being out with a group of lads made me look further ‘suspicious’, one of these being my boyfriend who assisted me in the disabled toilet on this final occasion and was taken aside and questioned separately.

Davies says she wants better understanding and awareness of hidden disabilities. She said in her letter: “This is not a rant, simply a word of advice and perhaps a lesson to be learned for those that do currently see disability as restricted within the conforms of a wheelchair user.

“Many people in my shoes would have been extremely traumatised and uncomfortable to open up and talk about such a personal thing in such an intimidating and uncomfortable situation and I hate to think about what they’d have done in that moment.”

She finished with the words: “NOT EVERY DISABILITY IS VISIBLE.”
www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/student-w...73dfe4b07521022e73ec

And the ones with an ´invisible´ disability should not have to prove their disability with a visible bracelet.

She had a RADAR-key, that should have been enough.

I am one of the lucky ones, I escaped a stoma-bag on a split-hair, so I can imagine what having a stoma-bag on her young age means.

And it is not reasonable at all to expect this girl and others with invisible disabilities to have a visible sign of their disability.
Not until the taboo is gone and people would treat other people with invisible disabilities as if they were ´normal´.
(Because that is what they are, normal people with an invisible disability.)
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LEAVER DEA AS SLAEF !

Student with stoma accused of drug taking in pub disabled toilet. 1 week 6 days ago #3309316

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Yes a radar key should of been enough - but I don't see a bracelet as an issue either nor see that as an unreasonable idea.

Seems basically the same as a disability parking sticker - and haven't heard anyone complain about them being a visible sign of disability.

Just a way to ensure parking spots or disability toilets are only used by those entitled to do so.

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